Builds are pretty much optimized...videos are a little outdated but usable

Thank you fellow Heimerdingers for your long lasting support it has been years since I've made this guide, please leave a little comment on the guide as well as I love to hear feedback!
1 Million views+ thanks everyone!
Videos of Heimerdinger gameplay
Abilities Explanation
Farming Phase(Mid)
Champions you can counter hard
Champions that counter you
Champions that work REALLY well with you.
Heimerdinger's lane compatability
Leashing like a boss
When to recall
Heimerdinger's hidden mechanics and tricks
Warding mid effectively
The secret Victory song
Introduction
Video
Credits
Pros/Cons
Masteries
Runes
Summoner Spells
Items
Team Fighting
End Summary/Conclusion
Mindset required to play Supportdinger
Pushdinger Quickies and Tipies
Squishy Team? Come here!

NOTE: IM ACTIVELY WATCHING THE DISCUSSION SO IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, LET ME KNOW!

Disclaimer, I "retired" midway through Season 6 (Hence the Plat icon), I will most likely end gold this season due to decay and S8 unranked. None the less, I will continue to update this guide for those of you who continue the fight I failed to finish.

Good evening everyone, I present this guide for Heimerdinger, one of the most ignored champions around (my first guide ever!). Why ignored? Well 9/10 of my games, no one bothers to buy magic resist because Heimerdinger just doesn't seem like a threat, ha! My guide is built so not only can fellow heimerdingers all over the world become more scary and threatening, it's also to one day have heimer end up in LCS.
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Credits to SSj Heimerdinger(me) for making this guide, jhoijhoi for the guide tips and template.
Thank you to DuskToGlory for helping me out with the table of contents!
Thank you, the viewers for taking the time to read the guide and be sure to take extra consideration when voting. The guide is not key set and stone as most of the time the last 3 items are situational however I have provided what I found to be an optimum build for Heimerdinger in order to maximize his capability as both a farmer and a poker.

Credits to jhoijhoi for the template, which you can find here.
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spaaaaaaace

Pros + Amazing pusher + Epic crowd control + Amazing scaling + Turrets seiges zones + Best leash. Ever. + Tons of utility

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CH-1 Electron Storm Grenade

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Cons - Bad turret placement will result in a dead heim - Junglers love picking on Heimerdinger - No escape at all - Dependent on turrets most of the time - Squishy even with full build - Head looks like a part of the reproductive system

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The Masteries are pretty standard but they are designed around helping Heimer last hit and poke harder. Feel free to change them to suit your style but I've personally felt the masteries are the best to use to help maximize SSJ Heimerdinger.

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• Greater Quintessence of Ability Power: Great for early game harass, once you hit level 6, the enemy will just disappear from the face of the earth. The items chosen are picked out to help out your late game so running early game damage helps greatly.
  
• Greater Mark of Magic Penetration: Most players have some starting magic resist, the Marks basically drop their magic resist to around half or even nothing! Gotta hurt to feel rockets as if they were true damage especially with the 15 AP, no? ;)
  
• Greater Glyph of Magic Resist: You will need this if you are facing AP mages, it just makes your hp regen even stronger because you tank less hits. You could use armor glyphs or hp regen glyphs if you are facing heavy AD.

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Ghost: SSJ Heimerdinger excels at damage without having secondary sources, because of his lack of escape, running two escapes is EXTREMELY viable and even encouraged. Generally what you want to do is learn how to play Heimer WITHOUT an escape by running Exhaust and Ignite so during ranked play you wouldn't be dependent on Ghost/ Flash

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Barrier: Honestly it's a better skill than heal to have in your kit and even better than flash for Heimerdinger. Flash is a very short range and if you're caught off they'll just jump right back on you even after flashing and due to how squishy heimerdinger is they can safely ignore tower. Barrier will put them in their place and even turn that fight around for a kill, don't underestimate it. Ignite is an great alternative as well if you are facing some heavy sustain like Swain.

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Flash: Although the range is short, I have found myself using flash to jump over walls and kite the enemy out, it's a great item if you want to tank turret for a few hits before unleashing your ult+rockets from hell and then flashing away. Playing around with summoners is encouraged. I've even ran Smite while laning just because I never get close enough to use ignite or exhaust and I've gotten used to not using Ghost so sometimes I would run Smite and Flash. Great way to quickly go through dragon without a jungler.

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Rather than explaining the item route and why the build is designed to be more dynamic, I will instead explain each items purpose. I will only touch up on the non standardized items from all the builds listed. I won't take the time to explain the Cheesedingers because they are designed to cater to helping players discover their playstyle. Think of them as training heimers.

• Wombo Combo:
  
  The three needless items

  
  
  These three items provide the maximum quick AP as well as each item caters to what heimer needs [Maximum damage for ult+rockets and a "oh **** someone help me" item], as a rule of thumb you generally want to try to grab ALL 3 or at the very least have 2 of them. If you have all 3, aside for your Sorcerer's Shoes, a Void Staff will be necessary and then your last item will be crucial as it usually ends up being a Liandry's Torment if the enemy decides to go tanky.
  
  
  
• :
  
  OMG SELL YOUR MEJAIS - Every silver player. ever.

  
  This is your snowball item, it may be useless early game but you only need 6 stacks on it to benefit from it! 6 stacks is very simple for Heimerdinger to get and it's great to pick up when you are dominating lane or if the game is looking close to impossible to win, stack 'em up and watch 'em drop.
  
• :
  
  WTF? I STACKED HP WHY IS HEIMER MELTING ME

  
  Liandry's is a great choice for Heimer just because his turrets secondary fire applies this dot and his skills are on a short enough cool down to keep the effects of torment applied. This is a great item for when there's too many tanks on the enemy team.
  
  
  
• :
  
  ...our turret stopped working...

  
  This item naturally synergizes with Banner of Command which makes it a great item to pick up, it also provides you with some AP so your turrets could chunk towers down faster.
  
  
  
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  Teamfights
  Team fights dont happen in bronze..

  
  For team fights to keep it short, you want to have your turrets outside of AoE so plant it in a general spot that you believe the enemy squishies will "want", which is AROUND the fighting zone.
  As a general rule, if you can snipe the enemy adc before the fight starts, then by all means ult+Rockets but if not, during team fights you are better off dropping a huge turret. It's also sometimes useful to just use your grenade if you have more damage dealers than CC (think Lee Sin jungler and Riven top).
  
  
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  Summary
  
  Long story short, Heimerdinger is one of the best AP champs because he doesn't even need to be INSIDE a fight to be useful because of his range. He's probably the most passive aggressive champion in LoL.
  
  by Monckey100 (SSj Heimerdinger)
  
  Thank you again for reading through the guide, if you enjoyed this guide be sure to continue to scroll down for other tips and tricks! Also make sure to upvote this so I recognize the Heimer love. :)
  
  Credits to jhoijhoi for the template and border, which you can find here.
  
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A quick section to describe each heimers "playstyle" and why they are built a certain way I have this in front of the table of contents to refrain from players being lost...


MAINDINGERS
SSj Heimerdinger:

SSj4 Destructiondinger:


Tankydinger v2:


Supportdinger:


CHEESEDINGERS:Pushdinger:


Jungledinger:

• Zoom Zoom:
  This ability is the core reason why we don't need boots right away. Stay safe Saiyan!
  
• H-28G Evolution Turret (Q): Turrets are what makes you heimerdinger, Don't just use them to farm, use them to ward, use them to even COUNTER jungle. Hell to the yeah, you can do that! Heimers turrets also have some hidden statistics, I took the time to figure out what those stats are and have plot it on a graph to help players understand when his turrets are strongest.
  
  Graph of effective health

  Excel Document
  
  
  His Apex turret has the same Armor/MR as his regular turrets except with 800+(50hp per level after 6).
  This means his turrets are at maximum efficiency at level 15.
  
  
• Hextech Micro-Rockets (W): Poke as often as possible, concentrated rockets seem the best versus fanning it. Try to reserve them for the enemy or siege minion if you're bad at csing.
  
• CH-2 Concussion Grenade CH-1 Concussion Grenade (E): Try not to use this skill when playing defensively, it's only ever used to trap enemies into your reign of turrets or troll the Junglers by making them sit next to your turrets while you run away and come back just to give them a good bye present . <3
  Before
  After(Side effects do not include growing twice your size)
  
• upgrade!!! (R): Don't be shy to use your upgrade. Enemy Jungler coming into your lane, pop this skill in ASAP, you could very well not only escape but turn around and get a double kill. (has happened MANY times to me)
  Also great to use if you see an enemy trying to escape and your ahead with no rylai's, use the ult get the kill either through rockets or to pop a turret that slows, why not?
  The last method which is more like an emergency eject button is when you are super pushed, your team is fighting without you and you need to get down there, pop your ult in, destroy that turret push ahead destroy another...the enemy will scurry to head towards you, that's when you decide to Ghost away to regroup with your teammates at the enemy jungle to finish them off(you having max health while every one else is severly wounded)
  Also another usage for the upgrade skill is if the enemy is low and minions chilling, pop that ult in fast
  you'll have 5 rockets instead of 3 and that could very well secure the skill instead of watching them run freely.

If you know where the enemy jungler is (for example bottom) it's always great to really troll and go take their red, your teammates will call you insane but when your turrets steal red faster than it took you to walk there, the enemy Jungler will only be more frustrated and willing to kill you (and then they run into the bush with the turrets, LOL!)

Another video demonstrating lane phase: Play Video

Diana, Katarina, Master Yi, Akali, Darius, Kassadin, Skarner...Melee champs: Basically any melee champion is countered by you as you have a long safe poke range, a blind/stun and slow, they shouldn't get near you.

Most APs get countered by you as they have no form of poke exchange.

Nunu & Willump:
He'll just omnomnom your turrets
Malzahar:
His pet tanks your rockets which is an easy counter
Caitlyn/ Kog'Maw:
Both of these champs can safely poke your poor turrets.
Mordekaiser:
He basically heals off your turrets...stay away.
Akali:
The only reason why she can counter you is due to her capability to hide under her shroud and burst you down without letting the turrets have a chance to react...however you do very well against her so it can go both ways.
Tryndamere:
After level 6 you can expect him to dive you but if you see him ult in, it's absolutely a must to save your grenade for when he ults into you.
Yorick:
Annoying pets make him hard to lane against.
Karthus:
Very annoying to lane against but you can poke him in exchange for the mana he depletes destroying your turrets, keep your turrets at a safe distance and don't be as aggressive with your turrets against him.
Syndra: Max your rockets and hug your tower, she's gonna be a pain.

This part of the guide will help you understand how well you lane against other champs in different lanes.

To provide the best results, I will be only using 10 different champions, they are the most played melee/ranged champions according to Elobuff.com, for soloQ ranked within the last 3 days.
5 of them will be melee, and 5 of them will be ranged.
The rating will ONLY give you a good idea of how well you will do against them with factors including enemy junglers.

Keep in mind, that their skills will not judge the rating and this is just overall an explanation on why you can/can't deal with them as effectively as another champion.


RangedTop: *****
Kayle
Why: Her AoE from her ranged skill will eat at your turrets and she will have free poke on you even if you keep your distance, This would have been a 1 star match-up if it was mid, due to how well she would have been capable of exchanging with you (2 stars if she didn't know how to deal with your turrets). It's a 3 star match up due to the fact that if she tries to poke your turrets, you are still capable of pushing her down (due to only 1 gank potential from jungler) and forcing her to miss cs in exchange for your turrets. For match ups such as this, you are best going Pushdinger or something defensive.

Mid: *****
Lux
Why: I am assuming this lux can land her shots more often than miss which puts you against her at a 1 star compatibility, her poke would destroy you and most of the time to angle your rockets so it would poke her instead of minions, will leave you prone to getting bound. To top it off there are a few different points junglers can gank you from, even flashing from your own wraiths to kick you away from your turret. Playing defense based Heimerdingers will help you against this lane match-up and will get you through fine but initiating on her or even trying to poke her isn't advisable unless you are absolutely certain on how well you know her mechanics. If you know her mechanics really well you can exchange fairly easy bring it up to a *****, this applies to most ranged mids that have skill shots whom lane against you.

Bot: *****(2v1) / *****(support)
Caitlyn +
Sona
Why: Assuming you are 1v2ing them, Caitlyn would utterly poke you to hell and eat your turrets, you would be left hugging tower and would overall have a bad time. The only exchange is that Sona would be useless. Under the condition where you were supporting, throwing your grenades may prove to be difficult as most long range champs have a great escape, the fact that your grenades are slower then Nautilus doesn't help.

Jungle: *****
Lee Sin
Why: Due to his heavy CC and how squishy you are early game, you are very bad in the jungle. Forget the fact that you will be VERY low most of the time due to how much damage golems can do to you/your turrets, Lee sin can jungle invade and you will have a difficult time peeling him off you. If you can lock him near your turrets and keep him close enough you can get him low enough for your teammates to clear him up but it's rare that you will ever kill the enemy jungler. Ever.

MeleeTop:*****
Olaf/Lee sin/Cho'gath
Why: I couldn't decide but overall Most/ALL melee champs are your bit- female dog. Especially top.
Simply put due to the fact that early levels most junglers do little to no damage going offensive is completely viable. Pre-6 you will zone the hell out of them to the point where they are very low with less than half of your cs. Keep it warded or not it doesn't matter because if the enemy is that low and you are that farmed, the Jungler will most likely give you a double kill or will be forced to protect top lane while the top laner goes back for health. I usually go faerie charm + 8 mana pots to stay there very long and just rush my tear + sorcerer's + alaclarity on the first return (that's about 2k gold). The best part? Melee bruisers are pretty much most of what league is composed of. Use this knowledge to your advantage, and don't ever let them cs or you'll be in trouble really fast (most tops require to snowball early in order to be useful, there is a huge see-saw with top champs).

Mid:*****
Katarina/Diana
Why:
You directly counter melee champions pretty much, going as a squishy burst melee mage is just taunting you as a Heimerdinger player. Any melee mage champs just get destroyed by Heimerdinger due to the fact that they have to get really close to heim to do their burst and heim can grenade cancel the enemies burst combo. You want a Katarina counter? Heimers your man. Junglers will camp your lane which will pull more pressure on to you making it more fair and putting less pressure on the rest of your team.

Bot: *****(2v1) / *****
Ezreal
Taric
Why: Due to the fact that your support+ADC are currently in another lane roflstomping them and that you are holding off two champions at the same time this benefits your team almost as much as you shutting down top lane or having jungler camp your lane. Ezreal + Taric and most supports are melee with very short ranges made to be gap closers for the shorter ranged melees. Ezreal will have a hard time poking your turrets and pushing is an option but keep wary that you are now holding off jungler and two other champions, it will not be easy and warding is mandatory. None the less, it's not hard to pull off, focus more on csing and keeping your distance from the gap closing support and you'll be fine.

As a support, well, it'll be much easier to land your skill shots due to the shear range but it's still fairly hard to land and it isn't very rewarding when comparing it to other champions such as taric who doesn't have a skill shot stun. Even the blind isn't as rewarding when landed.

Jungler: *****
Olaf/Shaco/Kha'zix/Nocturne
Why: You are SO squishy it's just embarassing, melee champs can wreck you with an invade at any point in the game and they wont hesitate to do that, your skills wont be fast enough to save you from their natural burst.

[video a bit outdated, will update]

(If you are below the movement speed, just recall!)

Use these songs sparingly to help achieve victories in ranked. P.s. Have some cookies if you read through all of this. :)