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FOREWORD AND WARNING:
R.I.P. Taric & Yi...True power does not last for long on the Fields of Justice

Caution: There is humour ahead, along with patches of sarcasm and large chunks of pseudo-witty innuendo. While I love to make jokes and references, this is a serious build and playstyle that I frequently dominate with. So, before you get mad and downvote me, please try the build out or at least check the comments section to see that this is not a troll guide, it's totally for cereal. If you are wondering about the recent changes to Taric (march 2013) then check the Table of Contents.



Prose:
-Strong laner (mid)
-Massive heals late game
-Awesome stun that helps in teamfights, ganks, and 1v1 (and farming!)
-Insane single-target damage (with a fair bit of AOE damage as well)
-Incredibly fast burst combo with a pretty low cooldown (1 minute for a free kill combo)
-Very capable of AP carrying
-Amazing hair
Cons:
-Extremely squishy
-Absolute bunk if you can't keep up on your farm/kills...have a ****py early game and you will have a ****py late game (but that's most champs, right? except

-People think you are trolling and will often dodge queue/try to take mid from you
-****py escapes (until lich bane I guess, still your MS is nothing special...but you have a stun so who needs to be fast amirite?)
-Often does JUST ENOUGH damage to drop an enemy; if you don't do your combo right you may not kill them (and then get killed yourself)
-Used to be a black guy, then went all Michael Jackson on us


Edit: My Super-Dooper Champ Selection Strategy -
Lately I have had the worst luck in solo queue with getting butts like the ones mentioned above. That's why I went to NASA and worked with them on this clever method of calmly getting your team through champ select with no arguments or deviations in team comp.
1. Pick a squishy AP carry and call mid (I usually use Kass for some reason)
2. Right as the timer is about to go up, switch to Taric
3. Assure your team that you are still going mid and you know exactly what you are doing
4. ???
5. Profit!!!
This trick only gives your team 10 seconds to get angry or confused about things, and no chance at all to switch champions and swipe mid from you. This rarely fails at getting you into a game exactly like any other champion. Just be sure to be friendly and communicate after the switch so no one dodges. Once you are in-game, talk all the trash you want.
Classic Taric: Wear this if you don't want to be noticed. The reaction upon seeing Classic Taric in the loading screen is 'oh, they have a support'. No further attention will be paid to you until you break off some gems in their bungholes. A mildly desirable effect, not one truly game-changing. Always make sure and wear this during free week.
Emerald Taric: It's exclusive, so it has hipster value. The Great and Powerful Taric from Emerald City takes guff from no one.
Armor of the Fifth Age Taric: This is possibly the most OP skin in the game. Upon starting a match, you will instantly be bombarded with people trolling themselves on your armor. They will make remarks they think are harmful/funny/original but in fact are ones you hear EVERY SINGLE GAME. This lets you come up with a variety of humorous retorts and comebacks over time to further incense your enemies. Your best bet is to be as openly and flamingly homosexual towards your persecutors as you can. Using this skin you can cause disruption in the game where without it you could not, making you a Troll Master. (this skin also is based off of the original Taric, who is a Black Man. Icing on the cake. Flaming, chocolate icing.)
Bloodstone Taric: At first, I had my doubts about this skin. I saw it when it came out, during the 'armor and darkness' phase the LoL skin releases went through. It was alright, but I didn't favor it due to already having his pink skin and thinking it more suited to his playstyle. That was before the Taric remake. Now that AP Taric has come to the fight, this skin is completely acceptable because it looks every bit as sick as he can be in combat. Wear this to let your enemies know you are for cereal.
Blight Crystal Taric: I'm a time traveler, so I already have this skin. However, due to Time Traveler's Law I can't show it to anybody. Just know that it is coming, and it's pretty slick. Want to see it within your lifetime? Raise hell about it on my post here
(Edit 2: Tear might actually be pretty sweet again. Doing more research on this now.)
In case you haven't noticed,


Edit: Graille sucks now imo. No longer worth it. Experimenting with a replacement.

[Dazzle+Shatter] - This is your standard harass combo: run in, lay it down, run out. It's pretty self explanatory. Usually involves the target being far away so not a whole lot of bonus damage is added from Dazzle, but occasionally you can pull off a point-blank one. You can kill low-health enemies easily with this sequence.
[Dazzle+Deathfire+Radiance+Shatter+Ignite] - This is your main killing combo, the one that lets you tag and bag people all day long. Catch them with your stun from a long distance, use Deathfire and move in close to bust your basic combo. Finish them off with Ignite (you probably will have to before late game so count on using it).
[Deathfire+Radiance+Shatter+Dazzle+Ignite] - This is the downright stankiest of your burst combos. It has the highest amount of damage, but the most risk involved. It's hard to pull off, but worth it. Get close to your enemy (really close...the ideal time for this combo is when they facecheck a bush you are waiting in; using Flash is also acceptable) and lead with Deathfire Grasp. This ensures the most possible damage since they are at full health (or, the highest they are going to be) when you use it. Then, immediately bust your ult. The AP bonus given from this will boost the damage from Dazzle (which is further boosted from close proximity to the target) and Shatter. Much of the time you will not even have to use Ignite for this one, so try to pull it off as it is the least resource intensive and can be repeated in 60 seconds!
Edit: F that. Since the rehash of the Deathfire scaling (goes off max HP now), you can TOTALLY get killshots with this thing. I mean, you SHOULD already have it busted on your target but now it doesn't matter when you use it in the combo. I would even recommend saving it until your last shot just in case you can do the job without it and have your full combo up again quicker.
Keep in mind that Lich Bane can be thrown into any of these combos as needed. Lich Bane is risky business but can have a high payoff; it's also pretty easy to land thanks to Dazzle. I wouldn't try much to space out your casting to land Lich Bane more than once or twice,

*PROTIP: I bind my self-targeting Imbue to the 'T' button on my keyboard! That's right next to my ultimate! Clutch heals and Lich Bane procs are much easier with this easy modification!


"taric wtf"
"how did you do so much dmg?"
"hax"
"lol taric has gone ham"
"fa**@%"
"taric soooo fed"
"i like ur build taric"
"wow."
Anyways, there is a good chance that you are now being focused by the enemy team, and should avoid roaming alone. Hang with your team, play Support-Mode Taric for casual encounters and try to KS as much as you can (if you get yelled at just say your stun causes the kill anyways). Shatter is the easiest thing in the world to KS with, so get familiar with the technique. If a full teamfight occurs, hang back and play Support-Mode Taric (stuns and heals) until you see the opportunity to strike. Move in, bust an ult and kill in any way you see fit (but make sure your timing is right, Taric isn't the squishiest but he can get wrecked pretty easily. If this is a problem you can always turn to Zhonya's to help you out...or pull the tampon from your mangina). Push a tower, placing yourself in position to stun/kill enemies that come too close while your team destroys it. By now your heal should be maxed out and your sustain should keep your team pushing at high efficiency. The rest of the game is pretty self-explanatory...just play smart, don't die, and be a huge boss. If for some reason, this is not happening, then switch...to Plan B.
-Bad Champion ("just bought/just nerfed/haven't played in a while")
-Bad Teammates (leaver/feeder/noob)
-Lag (#1 Champion Killer in Brazil)
-Mouse Glitches ("wtf i can't click anything")
-Game Glitches ("my spell no go off")
-Enemy OP ("so easy to play!")
-Wrong Runes (undisputable)
-Friend's Account ("i hate all his champs")
-****ty Computer ("at my dad's")
-Roommate Downloading Pr0n ('roommate')
-Phone Rang ("wtf i wasn't watching screen")
-Power Outage ("but i somehow didnt dc")
-Going Somewhere ("this game too long")
-'Girlfriend' Mad (lol w/e)
-Too High ("hey look at me i smoke pot and suck at this game LOLOLOL")
-Too Drunk (this one really happens)
-Too Tired (sleep is for the weak)
-'Trolling' ("IM NOT BAD IM TROLLING LOL LOOK AT ALL MY WARDS TROLOLOL UMADBRO")
-Enemy is Fed ("bot lane lose us the game")
-Enemy is Premade ("they always holding each other's hands")
-Enemy is Lucky (wish I knew how to boost Luck stat)
But the one reason that NEVER is the cause of a Bad Game is: Sucking at LoL. Nobody admits this and neither should you. So, just in case a Bad Game is happening to you, then just play Support-Mode Taric. It's the easiest thing in the world, and if it doesn't win you the game then you can still shift the blame to everyone else in the team. And if they try to mention about how you said you were going to AP carry, then just deny it in /all. Because in the end, that's what's really important: looking good to the enemy team.
How to KS: Roll with your team(mates), and wait for an enemy to come along. Stun and get close to the target. When the target approaches low health, use Shatter and/or Radiance to finish them off. DO NOT USE IGNITE OR DEATHFIRE GRASP ON A FOCUSED CHAMP. Neither of these are going to get you a kill, and they have the longest cooldowns of all your abilities.
((Remember: As long as Taric gets a stun off somehow, somewhere, on someone or something during a fight, all kills are then rightfully his and are therefore not being stolen. In fact, this allows you to express your displeasure at others for stealing YOUR kills.))
How to Justify KSing to your Teammates: The first time it happens, it shouldn't be a big deal. Maybe drop a "sorry lol". If they say they don't mind, then it's game on - all the kills now belong to Taric. But if they do want those kills, and start to get mad, then just spout one of the following lines:
"f u it was an accident"
"f u i did most of the work"
"f u this is a team game"
"f u my stun caught him in the first place"
"f u im filling mejais"
"f u i have to carry this garbage team"
"f u i got billz to pay"
"qq moar"
"br?"
"f u im taric"
"this is for g*% ni##^&@ everywhere"
"stop flirting with me ;3"
"get a job you damn neckbeard"
Any of these are sure to deter any further antagonism from your teammates. However, a Real Man wouldn't be listening to anything his teammates say anyways. Securing Kills is a low-risk/high-gain maneuver to get AP Taric back on his game if you fall behind. Trust me, your team will thank you.
Classic: Crycore Brand, Frostfire Annie, Death Blossom Elise
Emerald: Bioforge Darius, Thresh, Toxic Mundo, Sion
Fifth Age: Neon Strike Vi, Heartseeker Vayne, Debonair Jayce, Tango Twisted Fate
Bloodstone: Blood Lord Vladimir, Elise, Pentakill Yorick
I know there are girls in there but Taric will take a girl out on a date just to make her feel special. Won't break her heart or get into her pants. Such an honorable knight.
-That awkward early game phase ends QUICK, putting you right in the peak of your abilities from the start
-You don't have to farm much to get itenz, but with Kage's and the farming you do do (lol doodoo) your build finishes pretty fast
-People tend to play squishies in Dominion and don't give a lot of thought to team comp, so it's easy to burst some scrubs down
-Teamfights aren't as large and involved, which suits Taric kill-and-go playstyle
-Taric's stun and heal are both great assets to have while pushing and defending
Here's a screenshot of what I did today:

March 19th, 2013 - Riot finally noticed that Taric is too awesome. Took some of his damage away to 'reduce his power level' which one can only assume was over 9000. I'm not amused but it shouldn't break him. We will see.
Several hours later: Riot can nerf Taric but they can't stop him from being OP. Not as long as he clenches a single gem in his fist.
if it's about:
-Wards
-Survivability
-Ranked Games
-The fact that Taric has the word 'Support' in his champ categories (it's actually a huge typo)
-Yes, I know about Augment: Death being in the item selection
-What champs you think
-The crisis in your home country
-The amount of calories burned while playing LoL
-My personal floral selections
-My lack of pictures, videos, coverage of spells and ability effects, discussion on runes and masteries, and other material that is nice in a guide but that you aren't going to learn anything from (I'll put this swag in later, I don't need it to fill out my character count)
-My or any of my family members' genetic heritage
-The Economy
-All this 'off-topic' information that you don't comprehend the relevance of
-Melons
-How uncool KSing is
Then I will laugh at and possibly even taunt it. And then, if you are still up for it, I will taunt you a second time you English knnnnnnnnnnniggits
Edit: And just the other day, the #1 died off and Taric for Men became the new Highlander. I seem to have gotten a lot more downvotes since then, though the comments are still mostly good. Guys, don't downvote this guide unless you've got an actual problem with the build...I may be joking around a lot but I'm completely serious with the playstyle. I try to provide as much information on all the tactics and maneuvers I know and use to get that win. MOST OF ALL, DON'T DOWNVOTE BECAUSE YOU DON'T THINK THIS IS HOW TARIC SHOULD BE PLAYED. THIS IS A CLOSE-MINDED VIEW THAT GOES AGAINST THE IDEA OF THE GAME AND SITES LIKE MOBAFIRE. Don't believe my build works? Take a look at the comments section, and see how many people vouch for it. And, Morello...let's just say I'll settle for Blight Crystal Taric.
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