Greetings and welcome to this silly guide. As of writing this I am level 46 and have yet to play ranked. I take TF top since I think it's just fun and wonderful shenanigans.

I take Twisted Fate toplane since I find it to be really fun. If you're trying to go for ranked, I probably would not recommend this build/guide as it is likely not optimal for TF. If you do go TF toplane then your focus is in the late game while trying to be as annoying to your enemy toplaner and trying to get the attention of their jungler.

(it can also mess with the enemy team during champ select)

From personal experience I can definitely say: Prepare to die. A lot. Junglers like to go after you since you pretty much have zero escape options, but if they're ganking you at top while you're using a meme-y build, then it will probably help the others on your team to win their lanes.

I am FAR from being competent as TF and I am definitely no expert at League in general. I just found this to be really fun and silly, and for me that's the whole point of playing video games in the first place. Win or lose, if I have a good time then I personally think I won.

I take Kleptomancy since my farm is horrible as TF toplane due to that I mainly harass my opponent and try to stop them from getting their farm. Klepto will help me earn some gold (and useful items) while I harass.

Magical Footwear is my preferred option due to that (from my experience) more movespeed means that you can catch up to people for your W stun as well as making it easier to escape abilities like Aatrox's W.

Minion Dematerializer is what I prefer due to that you can get at least six guaranteed cannon minions, as well as making them easier to last hit. If you feel the need to get your items sooner, then Future's Market is a good option.

Cosmic Insight is my preferred rune for this slot due to that you not only get ability CDR, but you get a reduced cooldown on your Teleport and Flash, which have fairly hefty cooldowns so 5% can make quite the difference.

For the second tree, I go sorcery since it allows me to take Manaflow Band for better mana management as well as Celerity since I've found it very helpful to be fast as TF.

I take Attack Speed and Adaptive Force for better damage and the Defensive Option varies on the matchup.

I like to take Rapid Firecannon when I feel like I need just a bit more range against my opponents.

Trinity Force is great due to the CDR, Health, and Movement speed, though I prefer to take it as a defensive option rather than an offensive one.

Black Cleaver for similar reasons as Trinity Force, though it can help you chase.

Guardian Angel is very nice if you feel like you're getting focused down really early in fights.

Rod of Ages is pretty good if you feel like you're having problems with both mana as well as staying alive in fights.

Frozen Mallet is something that I've had pretty good success with against mobile champs such as Irelia and Renekton as it gives you a hefty amount of health as well as slowing your opponent.

Basically boils down to: Yellow Card W, Stun, AA, run away. Just harass and be an absolute nuisance to your opposing toplaner as much as possible, deny their farm, and just try your best to bully them. Try your best to get some farm yourself, but thanks to TF's passive and Klepto, you should be able to keep up so long as you keep the pressure up.

With one winning game I was up against an Aatrox top who went 11/7/9 with 217 CS. He ended the game with 15,825 gold.
I was 9/8/8 with only 108 CS, yet I was able to end the game with 14,362 gold largely thanks to Klepto and TF's passive (as well as a couple shutdowns)

I can't emphasize this enough: Try to have some fun. Don't take it seriously if you die or miss some farm. If you're playing this build, then you're basically not playing to dominate toplane and crush your foes before you... you're likely playing to have a laugh and a good time.

That's it for the guide so far, thanks for taking the time to read it (at least, I'm assuming you did)

It will definitely change as I get more and more experience with playing TF toplane and I am more than welcome to suggestions for how to improve this build.

Thank you.

01/09/2019: Added Teemo to the threats